A Dark Souls Journal #3: What

The journey continues. I escape the tree, and return to the swamp. Instantly, I am reminded of my dwindling resources. It’s time to think fast. Think clever. Improvise and struggle to the bitter end. The game has never been completely unfair… so far.

10:44PM

Oh, hell.

I’m already lost. Don’t know which section it was I hadn’t explored yet except for where the rock bros were. I’m almost tempted to go back to them, just to somehow dodge the rocks and loot the place for items. But that would likely lead me to an untimely end, and also further deplete my supply of moss. I must not be hasty.

I hear MGS1 Mei Ling’s voice. “Don’t be greedy, or you might be sorry.”

The poison effect disappears real slowly. This might actually be more annoying than using moss. I am patient – doesn’t mean I enjoy waiting.

10:50PM

I’ve heard stories of this Mildred… she took me down with little effort.

It wasn’t even that Mildred herself was a threat. I was quickly surrounded by three winged critters and yet another fire-breathing monstrosity. In my confusion, I failed to notice my health draining from poison as well. Another bit of moss wasted. Let’s try again.

If I can only vaguely remember landmarks, one reliable way of getting through this swamp should be to hug the walls. Sooner or later, I’ll find the right route.

11:00PM

I cannot find Mildred again. It’s almost as though I have disappointed my opponent so much she felt it was not even worth toying with me.

But I did find my bonfire. I ended up having to fight a rock bro on the way. Turns out they’re far less intimidating up close, so long as you’re fighting them one on one. The backstab works, and I am grateful for that.

11:06PM

I have located Quelaag’s Domain. There are these weird… enemies here, but they are entirely harmless. And yet, I can lock-on to them. Almost tempted to cut them down, but I am getting the sense this is not a good idea. I’d prefer to head back out to explore a little just in case. There’s a mist gate here, and that means progress. I’m not quite ready for that.

11:14PM

I have temporarily returned to Quelaag’s Domain. I decided to confirm my suspicions, and yes, Mildred does not spawn because I am currently hollow. I can’t help myself, so I’m going to go return to the bonfire and potentially waste my humanities trying to see if I can end up having a fair fight with this lady.

I’ll say this, though. I am sick of dealing with the mosquitoes. So very sick of them. Do they not stop spawning? It’s like real life. Thank you, Dark Souls, for your incredible attention to detail.

11:20PM

Mildred gets stabbed in the back.

Pathetic.

Wait.

Man-eating cook? Are you serious? I have… many questions.

Anyway, knowing that this one swamp bonfire exists is truly incredible. It’s a total game changer down here. I don’t even care about my moss supply anymore. I’ve made it. I’m good. And I’m ready to face… who Utsu refers to as ‘spider titties’. Let’s see how bad she really is…

11:29PM

Uh, wow. Damn. Guess we’re already done here.

They barely bothered to cover her up… such raw power.

11:32PM

I have finally rung the second bell. That one gate earlier in my journey has opened. I bet that weird knight sitting outside of it is real happy right now. I’m not going to go back just yet, though. I want to look around.

11:42PM

Uh. Wow. Hm. Can’t say I expected to find her quite so soon.

I guess she can’t talk for some reason. I’ve joined the Chaos Covenant now, though. I see this is the NPC I have to fork 30 humanities over to. But you know, if I don’t have to, I won’t. I’m really holding out on the Poison Mist strategy working out just fine later… if it seems fruitless, I might very well fork over the humanities, but I think we can avoid that. Either way, I’ll do my best to keep sun bro alive.

“If you lay a hand on the Fair Lady, you should be prepared to face my wrath.”

Yeah. I’m sure, egg buddy. You look like breakfast. Not that I’d want to eat you, no thank you.

Oh, that reads savage.

11:54PM

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

AND WHAT KIND OF NAME IS CEASELESS DISCHARGE

WHO NAMES THEIR CHILD THAT

IT ONE SHOTS?

WHY DOES SLIDING CAUSE DAMAGE IN THIS GAME

ISN’T THE WHOLE POINT OF SLIDING TO AVOID FALL DAMAGE

WHY DOES THE ATTACK GO THROUGH THE WALLS

12:21AM

My immense determination pulled through. We got ’em.

Hm… honestly?

This place seems kinda boring…even irritating.

Who designed this place? I’ve already lost all my hard earned souls… that’s one level up gone… I’ll figure this place out later. If that’s… even possible. I’m genuinely confused about this place, that entirely flat plane with six or seven demons looks incredibly boring.

For some reason, my bad game design senses are tingling, something that has never happened before on this journey. I’m getting the sense this place has no rhyme or reason to it. Senseless layouts terrify me more than anything else that has been thrown at me so far.

Other than the giant rat, anyway. Even the lava here looks like shite.

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